Glee: Beware of Flying Mailmen

Facts: To help him concentrate on the road while driving, Finn likes to think about unusual things, such as dead cats. While he's out practicing his driving skills with his mother, Finn is distracted by such thoughts and runs into the local mail carrier, who is severely injured by the collision.

Issue: Did Finn commit a crime even though he accidentally struck the mail carrier?

Law: A battery is an intentional, harmful, nonconsensual touching of another. An assault is either an attempted battery or a negligent injury of another with a deadly weapon.

Analysis: This example highlights the (often confusing) differences between assault and battery. While a battery is always intentionally, the law of assault developed to address behavior that was just shy of a battery. In Finn's case, he likely did not intentionally strike the mail carrier, so he couldn't have committed a battery. But he was rather negligent in not paying attention to the road, so at a minimum he committed an assault as a car has been treated as a deadly weapon.

Bonus: As you can see, there are basic problems with the common law crimes in the context of this case, which is why most states have separate statutes dealing with striking people with vehicles. For example, in Finn's Ohio, they have a vehicular assault law that would likely apply in this situation.

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Glee: The Downside of Extorting Your Students

Glee: Pilot
(aired May 19, 2009)

Facts: As the new head of the high school glee club, Will Schuester needs to recruit new students to join the club. His appeal to members of the football team is unsuccessful, so he plants marijuana on Finn, a student on the football team with a vocal talent for classic rock ballads. Mr. Schuester tells Finn that he won't report the marijuana possession (and place it on his permanent record) if Finn agrees to sing in the glee club. Finn denies possessing the marijuana but reluctantly agrees to Mr. Schuester's request.

Issue: Did Mr. Schuester commit a crime?

Law: Extortion is the obtaining of goods or services from a person by coercive means.

Analysis: Oh yes. Mr. Schuester planted drugs on Finn and threatened to report him if Finn did not do what Mr. Schuester wanted. These facts alone are enough to show extortion, but the offense is even clearer in this case because Mr. Schuester was also able to use his authority as a teacher to compel Finn's compliance.

Bonus: At common law, extortion applied only to public officials or people acting under the color of law. In most jurisdictions, extortion is now a statutory offense and applies to everyone, regardless of their official status.

Now assuming public schools existed at common law, it's arguable that Mr. Schuester was a public official, or at least acting under the color of the law, since he was a state employee and acting in that capacity at the time of this offense.

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